Time to Come Back.
So it's definitely been a rather interesting, adventurous, Fall 2010 semester, I will kid you not.
The fact remains that, well, I haven't posted on this blog since July, and Formspring's been posting for me here, with that last one being in August. It's not that I didn't want to write anything here, or that I didn't have anything to write about. It simply came down to time, or me being tired, but mostly time. I found out rather quickly that my semester wouldn't stretch itself to lend the free time I hoped to have. And to be honest, based on accounts from people, it doesn't seem like next semester's going to be much better, but I thankfully have more free time, more willing people to assist, and above all else, a better release.
It's actually kinda weird, but I've had several blog posts come into my mind, mostly when I was angry. And I've learned that I definitely need to compose myself before writing stuff on here. It's not like I can't just delete it later if I feel it's too malice. But, I don't wanna get to that point. I dunno if I ever wrote it here, but I don't want to delete a single blog post. So, I'm trying my best to keep to that. At the same time, I don't want it to mean that stuff never gets written either.
So now, I'm here. Obviously there's something on my mind, right?
Actually, not really. I'm in California for the Winter Break, which, as you may already know, leads to the usual boredom and the like. I've seen my grandma, went bowling with my oldest sister, went to my other sister's apartment and chatted it up, but mostly I've been sitting in my room on my computer. Mostly, I've been working on things I haven't worked on, or have wanted to work on, like my photo collection. Also kinda been working on TBS stuff that's for next semester, and contemplating several things, like Drum Major auditions, things like that. I have some decisions to make between now and "The Future", and I don't want to make a decision that will leave me in regret. In other words, I want to be more prideful of what I do, and set an example as to what I represent.
A lot of what's been going on around me has definitely affected my mood, I will admit that. Besides last semester being a scholastic hardship, it was an emotional nightmare, one that I can't really put into words very well. There's always a lot on my mind, and there's always more than I can think to say, but I never say it. Mostly, I don't know how to say a lot of the things on my mind without people taking what I say the wrong way. Never is it meant to be malice or cold-hearted. But a lot of the times, I perceive it about 500 different ways before it leaves my brain.
Each year, I try to think of something I can improve on more and more. While I've gotten much better about being more outspoken, there's still things I don't speak up on. That's where I can start. In a high regard, I have done that in my friendships; I'm more honest with how I feel, without wondering what's behind Door X. In the regards of a friendship, that's what's important. Beyond the friendship aspect, I still have a great deal to improve on. I'm not perfect, nor am I striving for perfection, but I am wanting to be a better person, consistently, continuously, every single day. And I'll do my best to be that person all the time.
I'm continuing to make steps to return to the person I see myself in my mind. I wanna be that guy people turn to when they need something, need an ear to talk into. Long as I'm happy though, that's all that matters, right?
I think I covered enough today. Hopefully I'll be back to you next Sunday, although I wouldn't quote me on that. If the cards fall right.
Peace easy, friends.
The fact remains that, well, I haven't posted on this blog since July, and Formspring's been posting for me here, with that last one being in August. It's not that I didn't want to write anything here, or that I didn't have anything to write about. It simply came down to time, or me being tired, but mostly time. I found out rather quickly that my semester wouldn't stretch itself to lend the free time I hoped to have. And to be honest, based on accounts from people, it doesn't seem like next semester's going to be much better, but I thankfully have more free time, more willing people to assist, and above all else, a better release.
It's actually kinda weird, but I've had several blog posts come into my mind, mostly when I was angry. And I've learned that I definitely need to compose myself before writing stuff on here. It's not like I can't just delete it later if I feel it's too malice. But, I don't wanna get to that point. I dunno if I ever wrote it here, but I don't want to delete a single blog post. So, I'm trying my best to keep to that. At the same time, I don't want it to mean that stuff never gets written either.
So now, I'm here. Obviously there's something on my mind, right?
Actually, not really. I'm in California for the Winter Break, which, as you may already know, leads to the usual boredom and the like. I've seen my grandma, went bowling with my oldest sister, went to my other sister's apartment and chatted it up, but mostly I've been sitting in my room on my computer. Mostly, I've been working on things I haven't worked on, or have wanted to work on, like my photo collection. Also kinda been working on TBS stuff that's for next semester, and contemplating several things, like Drum Major auditions, things like that. I have some decisions to make between now and "The Future", and I don't want to make a decision that will leave me in regret. In other words, I want to be more prideful of what I do, and set an example as to what I represent.
A lot of what's been going on around me has definitely affected my mood, I will admit that. Besides last semester being a scholastic hardship, it was an emotional nightmare, one that I can't really put into words very well. There's always a lot on my mind, and there's always more than I can think to say, but I never say it. Mostly, I don't know how to say a lot of the things on my mind without people taking what I say the wrong way. Never is it meant to be malice or cold-hearted. But a lot of the times, I perceive it about 500 different ways before it leaves my brain.
Each year, I try to think of something I can improve on more and more. While I've gotten much better about being more outspoken, there's still things I don't speak up on. That's where I can start. In a high regard, I have done that in my friendships; I'm more honest with how I feel, without wondering what's behind Door X. In the regards of a friendship, that's what's important. Beyond the friendship aspect, I still have a great deal to improve on. I'm not perfect, nor am I striving for perfection, but I am wanting to be a better person, consistently, continuously, every single day. And I'll do my best to be that person all the time.
I'm continuing to make steps to return to the person I see myself in my mind. I wanna be that guy people turn to when they need something, need an ear to talk into. Long as I'm happy though, that's all that matters, right?
I think I covered enough today. Hopefully I'll be back to you next Sunday, although I wouldn't quote me on that. If the cards fall right.
Peace easy, friends.
Comments
Post a Comment