2018.

So I’ve thought about a comeback to this blog for quite some time, but the problem is that I felt some kind of block whenever it came time to actually sit down and write something out. It was kinda weird for me, especially considering I’ve never had this feeling before. I would literally sit down at my desk, ready to blog out whatever was on my mind at that moment, but the second I opened up Word to type it out (that’s usually where my blogs start), I would get about a paragraph in and completely just walk away from it.

Writer’s Block, if you will. And it sucks.

I think I had gotten to a point where I didn’t view this blog as useful for me anymore. I don’t think it had much to do with not getting my thoughts out, but more so experiencing the moment in front of me. 2017 was all about me living in my moment, and less in the virtual moment. I wanted to be present with my friends, present with my family, and not miss those moments. A lot changed for me, but one thing that opened up, in my mind, is the importance of things in my life, which is what I was looking for along the way.

2017 for me was an experience. I don’t know if that experience was all good all the time, but it was definitely an experience. I got my first promotion at my job at CarMax, but also lost my Grandma to the effects of dementia. I saw my life spiral into a financial hole that I didn’t think was mountable, but made the decision to purchase my first car (albeit the hand was drawn for me, but the end result was fantastic). I’ve recovered in ways I did not think was imaginable, but I’m still humble enough to learn from any and all mistakes I make and will continue to make. Remember, we’re all humans.

So this blog, right? Where does it fit in my life?

Well, it’s right where it’s supposed to be.
x

I was able to live in my truth in 2017, and I want to continue that into 2018, with improvements along the way. I want somewhere to document my life struggles, my lessons, and overall just my life. I hope to stand as an inspiration to someone by continuing to live my truth and continuing to be my true, authentic self, regardless of others and their thoughts/views/opinions.

There are some things I want to accomplish this year. I wouldn’t call them resolutions, more so just objectives and goals I would like to hit or obtain during the year, making them a permanent part of my life (or even just making the next step in my journey).

As much as I love my job and my location in Sacramento, it’s high time for me to take that next step in my journey…. And that may take me away from Sacramento. Do not get me wrong, I like my job and the people I’m with. But there is only so much I can do and continue to do being in the same place I was hired 4 years ago. When I promoted to one of the Lead Business Office Associates in the office, my fear was working and managing over those who I worked side-by-side with for so long…. And I wondered how that transition period would go. I always want to have the respect of my peers and those around me in a work environment, so I wanted to make sure that I still had that respect, even gaining a higher level from those if possible. I’ve learned a lot about myself in that process, but I know that I have to make that next jump, and that jump could land me somewhere else. I also welcome the challenge to working in a new environment with new people and new obstacles to work through. Being in the same place for 4 years, it’s easy to become stagnant, comfortable, and complacent…. And I’m kinda ready to shake things up. The only question: If I do leave Sacramento South, where would I go? 

It’s time to make – and KEEP – ME as a priority in my life, no matter what others may think, perceive, or otherwise. To this point I worked for others, through others, and it’s time for that to stop. Plain and simple, it’s time to make ME the priority in life, because no one else is going to. Mind you, this is something I’ve worked towards for a while, but in order for it to stick, I knew that mentally I had to be in a good place in life. It’s taken a lot of mental changes, a lot of self-discovery, living my truth, and accepting my truth this past year, but I find myself in a good spot, where keeping myself at the top of my list is the priority, and nothing else. Overall I’m VERY chill and I very much go with the flow, but when I’m passionate about something, I stick to it. So for this year, it’s all about keeping that real and a thing. What exactly does that entail? You’ll get to see probably, so stay tuned.

Do the things that matter and enjoy the moments that mean a lot. Living in the moment isn’t something I have always done, nor known how to do. Goes back to that whole “not making me a priority” thing. Do you know that I LOVE photography? Do you know that I love to read, and have enough books to read one a day for a year without getting bored? Did you know I love history, specifically American History and British History? How about that I love airplanes? That I love to travel? What about the fact that I love cars? I don’t share these things because I think people don’t care to hear them. SO WHAT? Passions of mine drive me forward. So I’m gonna share photos of my car, and my adventures around where I am. Most of all, I’m gonna live for the moment, and ENJOY the moment. That’s what is important.

It’s time to get back to Georgia. 2016 was the last time I was in Georgia, when I made two trips out there. More pressing things kept me from making a trip in 2017, but I realized that there are still PLENTY of people out there who I would love to see. I just enjoy it out there, plain and simple. People think I’m weird when I tell them that Sweet Tea isn’t the same unless it’s made by someone in the South because you can feel the love in it, or that an afternoon on the porch with friends listening to the crickets nearby is the best thing to hear. I’m Southern-bred, and that will never change. I’ve always said I’ll find myself back out there for good one day, and we’ll see when that becomes my reality, but for now, I’ll take all the visits I can get out of it.

I think the most important part of my mentality to maintain is to be humble. I don’t want to forget what’s happened to me, where I’ve been, because that will only help me as I continue to go where I want to go. I want to always be that helpful, compassionate, dependable person who is willing to put their butt on the line to help, but also remember that I matter in the equation and that I can’t just always put myself out there and beat myself down. When people think they have learned it all and there is no more left, that is when the most valuable lesson is missed. I never want to be that person who pretends to know it all, because I sure as hell don’t know it all. Sit down, be humble.

Hopefully there are more things to chronicle in 2018. I feel like this is my year to shine, and I truthfully mean that. We always say that “this is gonna be MY year” or “this is my breakout session” or whatever other phrases that say the same thing. I’m not gonna say all of that, I’m just gonna say that I feel this is my year to shine, and this is my year to do what I’m wanting to do and what I’m GOING to do.

Carry on, 2018.

Until next time.