Am I Really?
A couple of days ago, I was looking back through all the notes and blogs I'd written over the last few years. It's funny, looking at the person I was back then and how I was putting myself out there. It's quite interesting honestly, just because the way I came off could be considered, in a way, quite vulnerable. I was out there, if you will, for the picking.
So I was talking to a friend of mine about that, how my entries on various sites were viewed like that.
And they told me that it was a very inspirational vibe coming from all the things I posted. And they also told me that in a way, the things I describe sound like those that would come from someone who's a motivational speaker.
I never thought of it that way, but it's VERY accurate, I have to agree. Recently I was on the phone with one of my good friends, and she was telling me about how she feels like she has nothing to live for right now, nothing that really drives her and pushes her to do her best. And I can say without a doubt that I can understand where she came from. I was there too.
For the longest time I felt as though there wasn't very much in my life that meant anything. I was very mediocre, I thought. I tried to make myself more "out there" but it always backfired in my face. I had no real significance in my life. I was just going to school, going to class, getting the grades expected of me, and doing the things expected of me. Basically, I was this living, breathing, walking marshmellow person with no real purpose. It was compounded with the new IT degree, which wasn't making matters easier for me.
Through my life I've handled struggles like they're nothing, but really everything is something. But the solace that got me through is that I knew, in my mind, that it gets better. You have to almost experience the lowest form to know what reaching up feels like. If you're at the top of the mountain, there's nothing higher than that.... well, besides sky. But there's nothing physical to grab onto. It's just air up there. Very thin air nonetheless, but air. But when you're at the bottom of the mountain looking up at the 12,000 feet of mountain in front of you, it's quite a daunting task to climb all the way to the top. But if it's truly a goal of yours and truly something you aspire to reach for, then you're gonna put one hand ahead of another and put one foot ahead of another and climb up that mountain. Why? Because you want it.
I had nothing to shoot for, nothing but happiness and a vigor I desired that I felt like I never had. So I grabbed my hiking shoes, strapped them on, and set forward down the path that would take me to the top of the mountain. I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it, one foot at a time.
It's rough, I know. If you think you have nothing to aspire to, trust me when I say that there is always something out there for you to aspire to reach. You just have to find it within yourself. I can definitely say that there are goals in my life that I want to reach now, something that pushes me everyday to do the best that I can and reach for the ultimate prize. I look back on the last 2 years and know that it was a living hell inside of my mind. That, in its form, was my low point in life. Everytime I thought I couldn't go lower, The Game of Life would smack my ass and push me further into the ground.
You are in charge of your destiny. You have the keys to the car of your life, and only you can be the driver. Don't let others control your destiny because you're the one that has to live that life, not someone else. Just know that there is something out there for you. You just have to find it.
In that message, my friend told me that I should be a motivational speaker. Am I really? I never think of myself in that light. I just think of myself as someone who wants to gain knowledge through the real-life experiences that happen around us. If that makes me an inspiration to others, then awesome. But know I don't do it for anyone else, I do it for me. I lived in that point in my life where I did everything or presented myself in a special being because I was told to. Now, everything that I do is for me, and is about making myself a better person.
A motivational speaker.... Am I really??
It's kinda a mouthful to understand.
Oh well. I guess I should go and eat some food. I'm kind of hungry.
So I was talking to a friend of mine about that, how my entries on various sites were viewed like that.
And they told me that it was a very inspirational vibe coming from all the things I posted. And they also told me that in a way, the things I describe sound like those that would come from someone who's a motivational speaker.
I never thought of it that way, but it's VERY accurate, I have to agree. Recently I was on the phone with one of my good friends, and she was telling me about how she feels like she has nothing to live for right now, nothing that really drives her and pushes her to do her best. And I can say without a doubt that I can understand where she came from. I was there too.
For the longest time I felt as though there wasn't very much in my life that meant anything. I was very mediocre, I thought. I tried to make myself more "out there" but it always backfired in my face. I had no real significance in my life. I was just going to school, going to class, getting the grades expected of me, and doing the things expected of me. Basically, I was this living, breathing, walking marshmellow person with no real purpose. It was compounded with the new IT degree, which wasn't making matters easier for me.
Through my life I've handled struggles like they're nothing, but really everything is something. But the solace that got me through is that I knew, in my mind, that it gets better. You have to almost experience the lowest form to know what reaching up feels like. If you're at the top of the mountain, there's nothing higher than that.... well, besides sky. But there's nothing physical to grab onto. It's just air up there. Very thin air nonetheless, but air. But when you're at the bottom of the mountain looking up at the 12,000 feet of mountain in front of you, it's quite a daunting task to climb all the way to the top. But if it's truly a goal of yours and truly something you aspire to reach for, then you're gonna put one hand ahead of another and put one foot ahead of another and climb up that mountain. Why? Because you want it.
I had nothing to shoot for, nothing but happiness and a vigor I desired that I felt like I never had. So I grabbed my hiking shoes, strapped them on, and set forward down the path that would take me to the top of the mountain. I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it, one foot at a time.
It's rough, I know. If you think you have nothing to aspire to, trust me when I say that there is always something out there for you to aspire to reach. You just have to find it within yourself. I can definitely say that there are goals in my life that I want to reach now, something that pushes me everyday to do the best that I can and reach for the ultimate prize. I look back on the last 2 years and know that it was a living hell inside of my mind. That, in its form, was my low point in life. Everytime I thought I couldn't go lower, The Game of Life would smack my ass and push me further into the ground.
You are in charge of your destiny. You have the keys to the car of your life, and only you can be the driver. Don't let others control your destiny because you're the one that has to live that life, not someone else. Just know that there is something out there for you. You just have to find it.
In that message, my friend told me that I should be a motivational speaker. Am I really? I never think of myself in that light. I just think of myself as someone who wants to gain knowledge through the real-life experiences that happen around us. If that makes me an inspiration to others, then awesome. But know I don't do it for anyone else, I do it for me. I lived in that point in my life where I did everything or presented myself in a special being because I was told to. Now, everything that I do is for me, and is about making myself a better person.
A motivational speaker.... Am I really??
It's kinda a mouthful to understand.
Oh well. I guess I should go and eat some food. I'm kind of hungry.
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