This Thing Between Us...
Have you ever met someone in your life that you can't get out of your head?
Have you thought you managed to get over them, but then out of the air, another thing happened that pulled you right back in where you were before?
I think it goes without saying that's where I am right now.
It's been a long time since I've been in a high-quality relationship, or not been in a situation where after-the-fact, we face up to the notion that what we were was a relationship. But for the sake of this, we're going to say it's been a long time since I've been in a relationship. You don't want me to explain the latter situation. We'll be here all night and, well, it is after 12am here on the West Coast.
This situation I'm at right now.... it's a weird situation for me, in that it lands me liking someone I know in my life will never result in anything. I know that because of where things are going to go in life and choices that are made, it will never amount to nothing. There is no switch to make someone like you. If there was, GOD KNOWS I would've flipped the ON switch for a half-dozen people by now. Well... maybe not a half-dozen people, considering it only takes one. But it could call for a wild night of things I would at least be able to remember. But that's another blog for another time.
In my life, you see, I manage to always aspire for the things I can never seem to reach, or go for the goals I know, while I want them immediately, take time. As a result, I get discouraged easily, and it takes a lot to push myself to get to what I want, and where I want. I'm even worse when it comes to relationships.
I tend to sometimes start liking people I shouldn't, for I know it'll never amount to anything. The sad thing is, when I look at myself and the type of person I want to date, it's like I don't know HOW to get to that person. I'm not like most college kids who go out on the weekends or are social butterflies. While I'm no introvert in the sense that I don't talk or share my life, I can't just walk up to someone. I use to think that was weird, but now I know that a lot of people are like that. But regardless, it still doesn't help. As a result, the people that are always around me are the only ones I get to see, which is where my problems start.
Person who is playing havoc on my thoughts right now is someone I could -- and would date. Every aspect of their personality and who they are matches what I believe I'm looking for. The only thing is that I know it'll never happen. We're both single, yes. But that isn't going to make a single bit of difference.
It's just not meant to happen.
I don't even know what to call it. "This thing between us" is the closest thing I can come to. And even that makes no sense. I dunno, other than that, I just want to know how to get past it.
It's going to end with my heart getting hurt if I LET myself go. Right now I'm holding on very closely. I don't want to lose myself in this again. I just need help in finding someone who I can like, date, and enter a relationship with. One who I know without a doubt is going to be someone this blog entry is not about.
Have you thought you managed to get over them, but then out of the air, another thing happened that pulled you right back in where you were before?
I think it goes without saying that's where I am right now.
It's been a long time since I've been in a high-quality relationship, or not been in a situation where after-the-fact, we face up to the notion that what we were was a relationship. But for the sake of this, we're going to say it's been a long time since I've been in a relationship. You don't want me to explain the latter situation. We'll be here all night and, well, it is after 12am here on the West Coast.
This situation I'm at right now.... it's a weird situation for me, in that it lands me liking someone I know in my life will never result in anything. I know that because of where things are going to go in life and choices that are made, it will never amount to nothing. There is no switch to make someone like you. If there was, GOD KNOWS I would've flipped the ON switch for a half-dozen people by now. Well... maybe not a half-dozen people, considering it only takes one. But it could call for a wild night of things I would at least be able to remember. But that's another blog for another time.
In my life, you see, I manage to always aspire for the things I can never seem to reach, or go for the goals I know, while I want them immediately, take time. As a result, I get discouraged easily, and it takes a lot to push myself to get to what I want, and where I want. I'm even worse when it comes to relationships.
I tend to sometimes start liking people I shouldn't, for I know it'll never amount to anything. The sad thing is, when I look at myself and the type of person I want to date, it's like I don't know HOW to get to that person. I'm not like most college kids who go out on the weekends or are social butterflies. While I'm no introvert in the sense that I don't talk or share my life, I can't just walk up to someone. I use to think that was weird, but now I know that a lot of people are like that. But regardless, it still doesn't help. As a result, the people that are always around me are the only ones I get to see, which is where my problems start.
Person who is playing havoc on my thoughts right now is someone I could -- and would date. Every aspect of their personality and who they are matches what I believe I'm looking for. The only thing is that I know it'll never happen. We're both single, yes. But that isn't going to make a single bit of difference.
It's just not meant to happen.
I don't even know what to call it. "This thing between us" is the closest thing I can come to. And even that makes no sense. I dunno, other than that, I just want to know how to get past it.
It's going to end with my heart getting hurt if I LET myself go. Right now I'm holding on very closely. I don't want to lose myself in this again. I just need help in finding someone who I can like, date, and enter a relationship with. One who I know without a doubt is going to be someone this blog entry is not about.
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